"Kuote" of the week and EStablishing Connections

"We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk." - Thomas Moore.

Is there a place for "casual" conversations in mental health and education that are not directly relevant to therapeutic or curricular goals? I believe there is, but it can be hard to make time for these conversations sometimes. These conversations are important for establishing connection and rapport though. By having conversations about other things such as work, hobbies, likes vs. dislikes, one gets to understand another individual in more depth.  In both of my careers as an educator and a mental health practitioner, having those casual conversations is something that I enjoy and try to involve in my work when appropriate. This was sometimes difficult to do though. In my work as a teacher, I often felt like I should just be responsible for teaching the curriculum. As a practicum student training in a site that used a brief solution-focused model, I felt an obligation to get to the bottom of a client's presenting issues quickly and offer interventions or therapeutic techniques. Now, I'm trying to slow down and make time for authentic casual conversations that help me to learn more about a client or a student. For example, I'll spend a few minutes at the beginning of my sessions to talk about what their work is like and what they like or dislike about their work.

For fellow mental health practitioners, asking clients open questions about their everyday lives can be a good way to build rapport and deepen the therapeutic relationship. As the quote at the beginning of this post says, having real conversations can involve some risks, so starting with casual conversations on daily life can help the client to feel safer in opening up about more personal matters once they see that you are open and non-judgmental.

To fellow educators, spending some time greeting your students in the hallways at your school and striking up a casual conversation is a good way to establish connections. Feel free to use break times to walk around and talk to students about other things they enjoy outside of class. This can also help to build rapport. Similar to clients who come to counselling, students are more likely to engage in their learning if they feel genuinely valued as individuals.